hi all been away for a while, have been experimenting with food, intrestingly if i introduce carbs as my main source of energy i gain weight if protein and veg are my main source i loose weight, so i really should stop experimenting and go with what i know work protein and veg (which interestingly are a carb)

had a beaultiful bowel of home made muesi, frozen berries and youghurt, of to the markest via tram today.

highlightof the week was my triatholon, could have been a disaster but was a success in more ways then one

the night before like all good elite atheles i checked my equiipment, flat yes so took to the garrage to pump up, augh they are now completly flat, ring every one i know,only one person maybe able to help but he was out and had a really fancy racing bike with fancy wheels so was not sure, drove around looking for a shop or petrol that sold bike pumps getting really upset and agitated looked longenly at the food could have bought a truck load and bingied my way through this crisis but did not (success)


eventual my mate rang justas i was reaching despair and i took my bike to his place, it was all good crisis averted (ok i know i could probably had found some with a bike pump at the triatholon the next day but that would have been risky and i may have had seveal panic attacks between then)

triatolon was excellent, eight weeks of private swiming lessons paid of swam like a pro came out of the water with energy to burn and not last felt good found my bike in transition helemet on glasses on shes on still not last perhaps ahead of somewho got ou of the water before me, jumped on bike, about a 1km into ride feeling strong over took a person (10year old boy) my shoes laces got stuck in the peddels disaster
had tosop and extridite my self mean while was over taken lesson learnt, do up you shoe laces in double knots

was vey wet feet kept slipping of peddles and road slippery but finally finished, put bike back and commenced run, fele like lead but knew it was less then 10 minutes to the finish so i plodded along smiled at the marshall gave him a wave over took some one told her she was doing well and it was nearly finished found that last minute kick and flew over the finish line fantastic race and very proud of my self new pb set, bring on the big boys next year i am hooked

12 wbt update

have been doing the 12 wbt for two weeks now major changes not in the exercise cause this was already part of my life (5 to 6 per week - including 1 pt session combination of cardio and weights for the last5 years and seeing results) but eating has never been my strongest talent.

used to feel i was being controlled by people in all aspects of my life so in some type of reverse eating disorder i went ok you can control me how much you want but you can not control what goesin my mouth. and when ever i was complimented that i was loosing weight i looked upon this as i them controlling me so i bought a family size pack of chips and took them to my bed and ate them, during family holidays (my family weree my biggest controllers i always found time to get away from them so i could go to hungry jacks or some where used to love going to maccas for breakfast, get up early whilst the reat of the family where sleeping get a couple of sausage mucfuins and has browns eat them whilst driving then come home and eat breakfast)


over the last 12 months have learnt choice is better then control, used to argue with people that being in control over a situation was my main goal in life, you can not be in control 24/7 and you can not control people but you can choose how you respond to them

back to the 12 wbt have been following the eating plan not religioulsy but using it as guide line about how much to eat, what to eat and and have lost weight and as another thing my bowel actions have been regular must be all the lentils and zucchini

but the resource for the future is invaluable iam one of those people who can never work out what to eat and goes shoping and never actually buys food to eat,or throws out vegies every week so making the choice to be organized is in the long term give me the control i desire and the choices i need also it will ave a fortune in money instead of 7 dollars for morning tea and 10 dollars for lunch 5 days a week (add that up)

do not get me started on cost of health and fitness (it is to quote a well known add "priceless")

it is happening

was so excited to day have been trying to get backto 86 kg since november but it was not happening, managed to get 86 back in august of 2009 but sabataged and got back up to 90 by xmas but today i was 86.6 and i will never see 90 again. the secret is portion size and exercise


this last week has been very intersting, was burnt out and over training, and injuries were occuring over the last month or so.

had been working very hard on my fitness and running running and more running, as well as cycling and heavy weight sessions. did a triatholon (my second) and my back went into major spasams i streched it out but it was sore, entered my triatholon, did a personal best but forgot to get the back checked. also found my legs would no longer run whatever i did had got downn from 7.30min to 5.30min for the 1 km over the last two months) still worked hard at the gym and was lifting excellent weights and working really hard on the upper body, giving the legs a rest. but then the back went........so had a week of the gym and then just as i was improving did my back again, then got a virus what am i trying to say, the last two weeks my exercise has beeen only half paced but i have gone form 88.6 to 86.6 and it has been diet and portion control, my pt has been on at me for ages to look at this and i have tried but i never relly knew what to eat, ( he gave me a great reciepe for roastpumkin salas) so i joined the michelle bridges 12 week body transformation challange and do not have to think what i will have for dinner or lunch it is all there and the recipes will be a life line for years to come

even though i have not been able to train as i want i have still been able to loose and it is all due to portion control and healthy eating.

this is me continues

had an intersting discusion with my sister a couple of months ago, she founfd out i was eeing a psychologist and questioned why, mentioning that one of the reasons she left home was cause she did not like the way my father treated me as she found it disturbing, she was not emotionally abused not even phsically hurt in any way but she thought i asked to many questions which is were i got in to trouble. she also asked if i was sexually abused (no i was not sexually abused) to this day she feels she has to protect me form some people.

discused with her moving in together and expressed the name trishy (i hate it makes me feel like a two year old) she will continue to call me this but not introduce me as such. and we will have are own spaces and i promise not to hit her or throw things at her ( i tend to throw things when i am angry must discuss this with my therapist)

so questioning is good keeping people happy is not a healthy for me.

THIS IS ME

have had a intersting break through thismorning, i have an almost pathological need for people to be happy, spent all of my child hoodwanting to keepmy father happy, therefore my life would be easier, but i also liked to question why. the two do not go hand in hand. MY GOD i was to scared to have a showewr as a teenager at night just in case some thing happened and people were not happy when i got back and did not know why not condusive to a happy child hood or calm teenager, why did no one notice i was so unhappy and anxious, kept waiting for some one to ask me but no one did. I eventually asked for h

why should asking why get you in to trouble? do i have to keep the peace even as an adult, no i do not think so. other wise i have to eat anad eating has not yet solved anything except to make me uncomfertable and frightened to go to shopsand beauty counters cause i am undeserving, well this is all changing. i stillsee myself as the fat girl but this is no longer true,i am a triathelete and a normal size person(a large normalsize but not grossly fat) to be honest ido not thinkiwas every grossly fat (105kg 5 foot 3) obese but not grossly fat.

i am body

this is an abridged copy of story i wrote some years ago called "i am body"

hi my name is body and my owner expects me to do things that i can not always do she wants me to run and concentrate, but how can i do this when she does not feed me. so she gets mad with me and feeds me sugar i get really quick and she likes this so she eats more sugar but this then makes me tired and shaky which upsets her even more.

if my owner wants me to do the things she wants like drive a car without crashing, concentrate on her work keep awake and work really hard at the gym so she run her triathlons she needs to feed me good food and not starve me in the morning, eating at midnight does not help i like to store that food as big fat fluffy cushions but again she gets mad at me,she does not like big fluffy white cushions i do not know why they make the chair softer.

so if my owner wants to be happy with me she needs to treat me right cause i donot think she has another body, and you only get one chance with the one you have

i am me not you

back again, and i found spell check, who am i?

the basics age 47, so close to 50

virgo being a perfectionist is crap (can i say that on my blog)

i can do what ever i set my mind on and this mind is pretty messed up but is slowly untangling it self

triathelete- does this mean i am skinny and fit, fitter the some yes skinny no have about 20kg to loose (better then 40)but i am aiming for 15kg

i am many other things, friend sister daughter (do not get me started on that one)this is annoymous i hope cause i donot want anyone to know wno i am by name uless i have invited you here personally

also flat mate soon to be home owner with my sister my psychologist is not to sure about that one, but then neither am i,

love that this thingauto saves,would hate to write this again cause it never sounds themsame again the second time


what else am i nurse, pesonal trainer, lover(if only)

do i like my self yes would you like me i hope so but it is not that important would i like you i hope so especially if you are reading my thoughts but it is not importnat this is not about you it is about me

see you all nextt time

i am me not you

this is my blog not yours so it will have my thoughts and no body elses. who am i? is that important to me it is yes but to you only the basics are needed for know as the relationship continues you will know more about me, maybe more then you really ever wanted to know. i am truly anaoymous (also spelling is not strong thing and this does not have spell check)