cycling, not my plan for this holiday, but it has bee thrust upon medue to lack of water yes you need to check the water inacare, i didnot. what happens your car burns up much like we doif we drink no water , and idonot drink eough living in a constant state of dehydration.
so car is having a holiday and needs a new enginig argh money that i do not have.
so i am cycingevery where thanakfully i am a triathelte but somthing you needo now lights are invaluable especially if you want to cycle at night, i did that through the city the other night in peak hour with no lights and along the torrens at dark is not nice, a pair of gloves to protect your hands when you fall of have not done that yet, but it will probably happen one day. a reflector wet jacket for those wet days and night(it is winter) a back pack for all the things you need to carry note to self buy a tyre inflator (for got what they are called) and may be a bell for people who do not see me and have ear plugs in also know as music.
love life live life and take every challange as somthing to experince and make you deeper person. currently i am centered and feeling the effects ofjoy of living will thislast,probably notwe do not live in a static environemnt will i want to cry and rage and feel sorry for myself you bet i will but i have learnt the skills needed in my life to get me through the good and bad will i need help in the future do we not all need help at some time in our life, iknow were to find it know. and i also know were not to find it, this in it self is perhaps the most important revelation. the meaning of life i can not give thAT to you but i know the meaning and worthof my own life and that is the most important. look inside yourself and you to will find it, a good psychologist can also help you ask that question and a good mate will listen to you ask the questions and find the answers your slef.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
retreart
revelatins galore this weekend, have been on retreat what an experince, silince but not in an uncomfortable way. meditation yoga and vegiatarein food. introspection, perhaps not the goal of retret but for me a worthwhile exercises.
have been on a very long and at time arduors journey. have learnt al lot about myself, but if twelve months ago you told me that every one goes through the same things and every ones has problems i wouled not have believed you and felt that you were belittling my issues and not truley understanding how much i was hurting to belive that i would actulally feel better even up to a month ago was not in my psyche i was to busy surviivng but things are begining to come around. and ican honselty say i like my self but this has not allways been true
an incidence on retreat really bought this home to me, there was a women who was obviosly going through somthing hard and i felt like i had been her, tears dopeed anger was felt and feeling of isolation abounded, been there done that but if any one told me it was normal and every one felt it i would have been angry and would probably have left ( not probably i would have left driven out of there gone on a loong drive and then have come back, escape was my main goal escape from myself and a situation i felt uncomfertable in i did it and i did it better then most, leaving a room is what i did best) but this has finished now and i embrace situations as they come.
so what i have i learnt,it is about choice not control, this ihave fought with for a very long time evengetting i to arguments about it, but most importantly have learnt about contentment, som thing i felt was nota goal,feeling that contentment was somthing you achived only at the end of life but have realized if i wait this long to be content with my achivemnet it will be to late just because i am content with my achivments doe not mean i will not strive for more,whilst happines which i thought was somthing you should be able to acheive is unattainable 24/7 but a fleeting moment of joy that ahould be savoured
cannot promise i will be level all the time but i can try so any one going through there own journey live it love it and saviour avery moment cause these moments make you who you are and iwould not give up any thing i havegone through cause it makes me who i am and that is me.
have been on a very long and at time arduors journey. have learnt al lot about myself, but if twelve months ago you told me that every one goes through the same things and every ones has problems i wouled not have believed you and felt that you were belittling my issues and not truley understanding how much i was hurting to belive that i would actulally feel better even up to a month ago was not in my psyche i was to busy surviivng but things are begining to come around. and ican honselty say i like my self but this has not allways been true
an incidence on retreat really bought this home to me, there was a women who was obviosly going through somthing hard and i felt like i had been her, tears dopeed anger was felt and feeling of isolation abounded, been there done that but if any one told me it was normal and every one felt it i would have been angry and would probably have left ( not probably i would have left driven out of there gone on a loong drive and then have come back, escape was my main goal escape from myself and a situation i felt uncomfertable in i did it and i did it better then most, leaving a room is what i did best) but this has finished now and i embrace situations as they come.
so what i have i learnt,it is about choice not control, this ihave fought with for a very long time evengetting i to arguments about it, but most importantly have learnt about contentment, som thing i felt was nota goal,feeling that contentment was somthing you achived only at the end of life but have realized if i wait this long to be content with my achivemnet it will be to late just because i am content with my achivments doe not mean i will not strive for more,whilst happines which i thought was somthing you should be able to acheive is unattainable 24/7 but a fleeting moment of joy that ahould be savoured
cannot promise i will be level all the time but i can try so any one going through there own journey live it love it and saviour avery moment cause these moments make you who you are and iwould not give up any thing i havegone through cause it makes me who i am and that is me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)