was sitting on the floor in my home office, which also acts a a junk room and a store room and was going through my files having decided it is time to get them in order. as i was looking at my business files it hit me that i was closing my personal training business, this made me sad, but not in a bad way but in a way that said you gave it a go, you learnt a lot and will always have that experience which is better then not have trying at all.

i am a nurse i enjoy the interaction between my patients and i am self motivated and can organize myself love learning new things and as rural liasion can make a difference to peoples lives.

but i also enjoy working on my own fitness and discussing with other people changes they can make in there lives, but find it frustrating that people still say they do not have time to exercise or they are to tired. this is my soap box and until people realize this for themselve i will be banging my head against a brick wall.

but saying this two vey important people to me both personal trainers have spent hours discussing diet with me exercise has never been an issue but my diet has been it has taken a lot of soul searching and tears and tantrums and i have almost got it worked out. thank you to the people who have helped me you knowwho you are.

why did i open my pt business, have been thinking for ages that there was something else out there, have been a nurse since 1981 and felt i had not really had a chance to explore other options even though i have worked in many areas in my career and completed two post grad certificates i felt that had to be more out there this was my most comom refrain, but what i did not know was that i could have explored any options but would it have made me happy no it would not have cause i was empty, still am at times but have learnt how to fill my self up and food is not the answer.


also learnt another thing this became clear to me the other day, when i am feeling sad or angry do not look to other people to cheer you up this infact on those days it is best to stay away from people cause then i wont hate them for not understanding i need them to make me happy i need my self and just because some one is grumpy or upset or not talking that does not mean they hate me.

i still have not yet worked out how to rectify this way of thinking but i do know that when i wake up out of sorts probably not the best time to be around people and i should probably keep quiet and find a warm spot and meditate

the business is closing, were to now - life will go on i will continue my journey to become a stronger me and be the best nurse i can be. i will also contiue to strive in my personal fitness and become that athelte that people tell me am.